Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I look better un-naked...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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