I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize