Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
