You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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