Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
