Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
