so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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