I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
