Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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