he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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