somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
