Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
