Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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