so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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