$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
