I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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