come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize