You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My liver just broke up with me...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
