Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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