I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
