Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
