On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
