He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Less talking, more tequila
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
