Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We had to coat check the pizza.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
