question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize