Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
