if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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