Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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