He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
