You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
