I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
