the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
