It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
