what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm passing your future prison.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
