the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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