Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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