Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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