I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize