I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
