So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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