she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I didn't notice because vodka
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
