Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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