Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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