Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize