wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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