There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
