White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm like, not good at living.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
