I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
