the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
