I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
