THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
