Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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