"it" just moved
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
