The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
