Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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