Where did you get a picture of my penis
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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