Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize