what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
