There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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