So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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