My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize