Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We had sex on a dog bed..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
