Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize