How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
