I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
