I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize