Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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