Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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