yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
