you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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