Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
