im drinking this country out of the recession.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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