i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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