there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
